Parents of Grown Offspring (POGO) offers constructive, supportive strategies for family issues.

 Barbara Greenleaf

Barbara Greenleaf

As a historian of childhood, I’ve long wondered what purpose the family serves once the children leave home. What are our responsibilities to one another at this point? When I asked a number of parents what they thought they owed their adult children, I got back an array of answers ranging from “24/7 support’ to “zilch.” See what others had to say in What Do you Owe your Adult Child?  and think about where you fall on the curve.                  Speaking of where you fall on the curve, see if you agree with our panel’s answers to Picking up the Check. In this scenario, Trudy and Jeff’s son’s in-laws, the McGoverns, are “generous to a fault,”  leaving them feeling like the poor relations.
         Another aspect of “treating” can be seen in Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis, by J.D. Vance, which describes the underclass mentality of Appalachia.  In The Power of the Pocketbook we hear Vance speaking of the empowerment that comes from saying, “It’s on me.”

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